Haunted Age Magazine #3
Welcome to this month's featured interview of Haunted Age Magazine #3. The magazine for the monsters of the Anthropocene. My name is Eric Pounds and today we have the honor to play 20 question with the guys from Anatomy of the Heads and talk about music, women, and the future.
EP: In true Haunted Age fashion we would like to start this interview with a question that sparks much debate in the Haunted Age community. Who has the better rack Charlotte Flair or Billie Eilish?
VG: I have to google them both. I have no idea who that is.
JH: Billie Eilish for sure.
VG: Oh, you know them.
JH: Yeah, dude. I have Netflix.
JR: Let me see them tatas.
VG: Ok, so this is Charlotte Flair.
JR: Looking good. But that's not the one you picked?
JH: Nah, dude I don’t like her Face, she has way too much chin.
JR: But it’s about the boobs.
VG: Yeah, face got nothing to do with it.
JH: You can’t have Boobs without a face. Also, she looks like has the blue vain going.
VG: Spoken like a true gentleman.
JR: I can see the chin and vain thing, but speaking in terms of boobage, they look firm and strong.
VG: Ok, now the other one, what was her name again?
EP: Billie Eilish, she is a singer.
JH: Believe you me, she's got it going on.
VG: I see what you mean. She has the size advantage.
JR: Yeah, but proportionally speaking they seem to big for her small frame. She looks a bit lopsided.
JH: The hell you talk about proportions?
JR: You literally just now brought in boob with faces. Hence, proportions.
EP: So what’s the verdict?
VG: With the power invested to me by the Singapore Airlines Kris frequent flyer program I cast my vote for Charlotte Flair. Her awesome boobs are fit to lead the people.
JR: Same here, size is not everything. You need some balance. Plus, I think Billie Eilish looks like she has very large nipples. You know the type that cover the whole breast.
VG: Yeah, but it's not the nipple it's called areola.
JH: What's called areola?
JR: The dark space around the nipple.
JH: The more you know.
EP: So, do you stay with Billie Eilish?
JH: Yup, she is my girl - I stand by that.
EP: All right, that settles it. Let’s move on. You guys have been notoriously hard to get a grip on musically. So, describe yourselves and what you do music wise!
VG: Attention shoppers, Hyperbeast Records presents the most inspirational island prog band in the world. Anatomy of the Heads. Featuring the very best in good wholesome family entertainment. With such righteous jams like Island Gigantism and other modern classics. Our music is not available in stores, so order now!
JH: I’d say we try to solve a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma that is inside a goat on a farm run by lesbians.
EP: Lipstick or dyke?
JH: Clearly lipstick.
JR: Think of it like something out of Dracula. We are three deformed hunchbacks living in Gothic castles and try to resurrect the dead. While pitchfork wielding peasants storm the courtyard on a full moon night. In retaliation, we set their thatched-roof huts on fire.
EP: Who exactly are the peasants?
VR: The guy that takes phone calls way to loudly in restaurants or other public areas.
EP: What’s the best rumor about the band that you’ve ever heard?
JH: That we are from America, Germany or Israel because no ones knows about Kiribati.
JR: Blasphemy! We are Kiribati's number one band!
VG: That one or all of us are romantically involved with a woman named Nora Baker who stalked REM in the 80es. According to some internet rumor she extracts money from us to sue Michael Stipe for their alleged lovechild.
EP: What? Explain.
JR: As far as we can figure that out, it has something to do with the guy who masters our albums in Hawaii. He was involved in some sort of major music industry hubbub way back when, before settling down in Hawaii.
EP: How do you mean?
VG: Well, the only thing that I can think of that would make sense of it is that he could potentially be or has been connected to a woman from that crowd. We use his services, he gets cash, gives it to the woman, so she can have a lawsuit.
JH: The story dies for me with the money part. What money? Do we make money?
VR: We have no idea. Maybe ask the REM fans about that one.
EP: Name two albums everyone should own?
VG: Dr. John - In the Right Place, Steely Dan - The Royal Scam
JH: Death From Above - You're a Woman, I'm a Machine, Queens of the Stoned Age - Songs for the Deaf
JR: Captain Beefheart & Frank Zappa - Bongo Furry, Terry Riley - A Rainbow in Curved Air
EP: There is a notable difference between An Adoration in Prayer and Ritual and Triptych Terror Oriente. What happened and how did people like it?
VG: The Triptych terror Oriente albums were recorded live and it was an experiment that just came up spontaneously. We got the chance to play at some art festivals and took it. When it comes to reception of the album, I think the Triptych terror Oriente albums are more linear and less jarring to listen to, which is why “more” people liked it. Then again its noise so it's not that many people. Financially speaking the records where a success. Not a ton of money, but we made more than we spend on making them. So everything worked out.
EP: Let’s go more into detail. Triptych terror Oriente is made up of three albums - any favorites?
VG: Oh yeah, Exorcisme Langsung Di Dataran Minahasa is the noise album I always wanted to make. Its has that very dry, bassy sound that conjures up visions of ancient machinery in a black and white world and combined with the jungle aesthetic it creates the perfect movie. MAXIMUM:PLEASURE is cool and let's call it an artistic success, but I don’t listen to it that often.
JH: For me its Copper Clad Coinage, sometimes I fell like it is a little too long, but I really like how it turned out. It's dungeon synth from the swamps. I love it.
VG: Btw about dungeon synth, dude, check out Thusar - Journes to Jotunheim. I always forget to tell you.
JH: I will. Anyway, Copper Clad Coinage is in my opinion the best of them.
JR: I stick with the debut album. The concept was fun and all, but I am missing the guitars and drums.
EP: How would you kill a man?
JH: I guess hire a guy, who hires a guy in a different jurisdiction, who travels to the guy I want dead and then abducts him after work. Force a bottle of Jack Daniel's down his throat and stage a car accident.
VG: Yeah, that's the only direction to go under normal circumstances. Otherwise, just rise to power and have other people do the dirty work for you.
JR: I don’t know guys. I’d like to propose something with fire ants.
VG: I love it. Maybe add to the Jack Daniels’s with honey mustard sauce and let the animal kingdom go to work.
JH: Isn’t that basically what some people used to do. Like there is one torture method with logs, honey and poop.
JR: Oh, I know what you mean - boating.
EP: I think it is called scaphism and if I remember right it's just a legend.
VG: Perfect, we invoke mythical death upon some guy. Scaphism is our go-to method. Officially endorsed by us.
EP: But seriously, there was a lot of noise coming from you recently. I liked the debut, the noise stuff is a bit too anti-music for me.
VG: Yeah, we never bought into the anti-music thing. We enjoy noise just like a Frank Sinatra song or any other music. There is nothing anti-music about it. The focus on deconstruction and subversion of expectations is just something that is hyped up by people who went to a liberal arts college.
JH: Noise compositions have movements, with changing instrumentation and textures just like in contemporary classical music.
JR: The anti-music thing is French bullshit.
VG: Of course you need an ear for it. Understanding and valuing noise can be challenging. Its nothing you can dance or sing to. Its more introspective. Curl up with a book and some headphones and have your brain blown out by a noise record. It's like being submerged underwater and I feel refreshed and surprisingly calm or save listening to it.
JH: Its like being back in the womb.
JR: I like to add further that all of us are older than 13 and ate our fiber. So why would we want to listen to something that is going to hurt ourselves. You know what I mean - conceptually.
EP: I do.
VG: In the words of Chris Janson: "We are into them good vibes."
JH: Chris Jahnson BWaHaHaHaHa
JR: Our Pat Boone factor just increased massively.
VG: Regardless of that, just give noise music another shot. You’ll like it.
EP: That's interesting. To be honest I listened to your new records in the car. And I associated nothing but abrasiveness with most of the material.
JH: No wonder you didn’t like it.
VG: Take headphones, a book and a lazy afternoon. You can’t go wrong.
EP: I will. What are the plans for 2021?
JH: Expect to hear a lot from us in 2021.
JR: We are going to do a second studio album. It is almost done, but its very hush hush.
VG: Also we have two video projects left from the Triptych Terror Oriente tour. So we are going to release them as EPs. That is going to be the rhythm for now, we will use EPs, singles and the like to fill the time between the studio albums.
JH: The EPs will be different from the studio albums and contain shorter experiments. Solo work or whatever comes out way that is good enough to release, but is too short and different to be turned into a whole album.
EP: I have a question about that. Why not cut all these mini projects into an album?
JR: We are Rush-fans.
JH: Yeah, that is just not doable. We like to think of our stuff as concept albums and aim for some kind of coherency. Without lyrics this is of course highly conceptional. But yeah we have to fell that an album tells a story.
VG: Yeah, we tried cutting the live albums together into one, but the vibes were just too different.
JR: The vibes, man….the vibes.
JH: Yeah don’t be jiving, daddy-o.
JR: It’s like there's a planet of love waiting in the electrified cosmos in superposition of possibilities, man. So, how should you navigate this unlimited planet, dude? It can be like so totally difficult to know where to begin. Although you may not realize it, you are holistic. You can no longer afford to live with turbulence. Only a wanderer of the infinite may reveal this fusion of growth. You may be ruled by selfishness without realizing it. Do not let it disrupt the knowledge of your mission.
JR: It’s all about Consciousness, man. It’s the driver of transformation and consists of four-dimensional superstructures that generate psionic wave oscillations of quantum energy. An energy that could be described as the maturing of the non-local, do you know what I am saying?
VG: Namaste, turbulence is the antithesis of inspiration. So no worries there will be guitars, intricate instrumentation and bird calls aplenty on the next studio record. It won’t sound exactly the same of course, but it will keep what made the first one great and elaborate on it.
EP: Well that's good to hear. What’s the best advice your dad ever gave you?
VG: Live your life in a way that keeps lawyers and bureaucrats away from you.
JR: Never trust a woman with bruises on her knees.
JH: I grew up without a father.
VG: Dude, you should live your life in a way that keeps lawyers and bureaucrats away from you.
JR: So you are his father now?
VG: Yes, my boy. You don’t need you to call me dad if you don’t want to, but I demand obedience or it is five across the eyes!
EP: We are getting close to the end of the year, what are your best records for 2020.
VG: I had this amazing where-the-hell-do-I’ve-been-for-the-last-century-moment, when I was checking out Van Halen, DLR and Boz Scaggs records. It's all awesome and I listen to them quite a bit. Skyscraper and Middle Man are two records I played on loop this year.
JR: Yeah, but that's not 2020 - that is you being an ignoramus.
VG: Nah, that's me being a teenage sad boi. I always knew Van Halen, Hot for Teacher and all, but I never listened to a whole record. I dismissed most of the 80es mainstream heavy metal stuff as being too happy. But now, having ate my fiber and stayed in school, I love that stuff. As for 2020 I’ll go with Cirith Ungol - Forever Black, Abhomine - Proselyte Parasite Plague and Ak’chamel, the Giver of Illness - The Totemist.
JR: For me it's the new Deerhoof and Boris. I have been following both bands a long time, so it has been a pretty good year for me.
JH: I go with Paysage d’Hiver and Jaga Jazzist.
EP: Any disappointments?
VG: Oh yeah, there is a new Zombi record, but was mediocre. That was a disappointment, because we realy love Escape Velocity.
EP: One last question, is anyone of you simping on Onlyfans?
JH: Nah, dude. Why in the world would you pay for something like that? I mean really, have you ever been on the internet? It’s 60% porn and most of it is free.
JR: Exit the cave and actually talk to a member of the opposite sex.
VG: I am married, so I am not even going to dignify that with an answer. But as we are not making money, expect us to become DIY-folk trio singing socially aware songs about the coming Onlyfans-based economy in a college dorm room near you.
You heard it here folks, enlightened boomerism is alive and well in Kiribati. So check out, Anatomy of the Heads collection of live records named Triptych Terror Oriente or their 2017 debut An Adoration in Prayer and Ritual and look forward to 2021 for all things Anatomy of the Heads.
Anatomy of the Heads are a work of fiction, so any resemblance to actual events, locale, or persons, living or dead, is merely