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You wish to learn FORBIDDEN KNOWLEDGE that will ruin your life? You'd like to see us do a LIVE
TOUR in the near future? You demand nothing but THE MOST POMPOUS AND DECADENT MERCH! You want to be part of a SECRET CABAL of martial artists that guard the Amber Room?
If this is you, come to the Pineapple Palace! Your contribution will not be wasted, it will be an investment rewarded with the finest campfire stories, the strangest paranormal encounters and the most forbidden government secrets your faint heart can bear. Every patronage is a critical hit against the boundaries of reality! The broken relationship with your father? Gone! Poverty? Schmoverty! Just listen to our debut album three times regularly and three times backwards on three different full moon nights, and you will feel the overwhelming desire to eat bugs! At these conditions, you can't afford not to invest in our Patreon! After all, there is nothing that can’t be adorned and encrusted with the finest rubies and jewels that money can buy.
SCAN THE CODE OR CLICK THE HULA GIRL! With YOUR generous donations, we are able to go to the hukilau. The old Hawaiian way. Because it is a beautiful day to go fishing and our hukilau nets are swishing. Down in old L'ie Bay. Yes, we're goin' to a hukilau. Huki-huki-huki-huki-huki-hukilau. Everybody loves the hukilau. Where the laulau is the kaukau at the l'au. Oh, we throw our nets out into the sea. And all the 'ama'ama come a-swimmin' to me. Oh, we're goin' to the hukilau. Huki-huki-huki-huki-hukilau. Oh, we're goin' to the hukilau. Huki-huki-huki-huki-huki-hukilau. Everybody loves the hukilau. Where the laulau is the kaukau at the great l'au. Oh, we throw our net out into the sea. And all the 'ama'ama come a-swimmin' to me. Oh, we're goin' to the hukilau. Huki-huki-huki-huki-hukilau ...